Releasing Ctrl - Revisiting Sza’s Coming of Age Album
I stayed up till midnight to listen to CTRL by SZA for the very first time in my college apartment. I played the hell out of her first official project, “Z”, for years and couldn’t wait to hear what she had planned next. From the paper ripping effect and the sound of a voicemail by Sza’s mom, I had no idea what to expect. Little did I know, from the first listen that this album would be critical to my formative years in college. It’s one of the reasons why I think CTRL is a coming of age album.
Coming of age is commonly used to describe films or media that are about growing up, self-discovery, and reaching certain life milestones. While soundtracks can be made specifically for a scene or set the tone for a film or TV show, songs without a movie or show to go with are able to stand on their own and may wind up being defined as “coming of age” by playlist creators on Spotify. One search of the term “coming of age” on Spotify will have you come across playlists that capture the nostalgic sounds that romanticize THE FUCK out of formative moments typically during adolesence. But what makes CTRL different is that it’s more of an adult coming of age story .
Sza was 27 years old when CTRL came out. She had plenty of experience as a musician and a good amount of her 20s at this point. CTRL was confessional, imperfect, and almost self deprecating at times as she compared herself to other people. The album tapped into the minds of young people who feel lost and may find themselves comparing their lives, looks, and lovers to others (BARS).
CTRL is a coming of age album beyond surface level milestones, it’s honest and introspective but still carefree enough to where many folks (even those not in their 20s) can still relate to the themes in the songs.
There were so many articles that came out in 2022 to celebrate 5 years of the release and some articles dating back to 2017 prove how timeless the album is.
“SZA led listeners through her honest, coming-of-age narrative that involved human mistakes and broken relationships, which are often encountered by those learning to love themselves. She taught us that these missteps are often caused by idealized romance, lust and the facades that result in insecurities, heartbreak and blocked numbers.” - Essence
CTRL was an album that had many themes of dating and romance so DUHH it made me think about my relationship with those things too. Having little experience in the dating space when this album released, it was something I was very curious about. I had friends who were experiencing dating and relationships relating to CTRL and soon enough, I did too. By the time the tour came around, I was READYYY to scream WHY YOU BOTHER ME WHEN YOU KNOW YOU DON’T WANT ME in a crowd and in the same room as Sza.
It was also a time where I was discovering and finding my identity as a Mexican-American woman in college and in a post-2016 election country (yikes). I was overcoming personal insecurities but striving to come across as confident ~ . I was meeting people from all walks of life and also learning about my own cultural identity and realizing the importance of taking up space. Trying to release control but also wanting to have control because that’s what feels comfortable. A 20 something living a typical messy 20 something life.
“Control is something people who are coming of age seem to lose, or regain and let slip from our grasp. And it is for that reason that CTRL is gaining this cloak of class, longevity and beauty. SZA managed to be honest in a way that is admirable, she managed to tell you, “I’m 20 something, and still don’t feel like I’ve accomplished anything.” This project has managed to resonate on a level that has surpassed a personal goal. And that, should be enough, to deem CTRL a primetime coming of age album.” - MEFeater
My most recent listen took place inside my Nissan which is where my best sound system is housed in. With more experience and now almost the same age as Sza when she released CTRL, I felt differently listening to this album again. The first listen made me focus more on surface level things and this recent listen made me feel very validated. It was another reminder that your 20s, while formative, are also very messy but that’s what makes it fun. Control gives us a sense of safety and releasing control can be liberating and the thing we need to truly feel free.